venus in a white cotton wrap dress
some of the greatest thoughts that have ever occurred to me have occurred while dancing by candle light in a white cotton wrap dress, no underwear and a glass of gin in my right hand.
something about the sultriness of it all. the gin unlocks the gates of all my sexual repression and i’m able to plug that sexual energy back into the forefront of my brain, where it belongs. i become fully uninhibited and free with my thoughts. my mind wanders while i dance, while i drink. while i feel the gentle breeze break through my dress and meet my skin. a wrap dress never fully protects you from the elements, unless you wear a slip underneath. i never do, when i do this. it’s why i see the wrap dress, made from natural fabric, as the most venusian of all clothing items. an expensive white cotton wrap dress dotted with gentle pink flowers that i bought in the summer while i was on holiday with a man that didn’t love me. I had no idea at the time that it would later become a symbol to me of my own freedom. freedom from him and from all other men that seek to put me in a gilded cage.
on this night i danced with my eyes closed, i was drunk on an expensive irish gin. i guided myself with my own intuition so that i did not walk into any furniture or hurt myself in any way. i listened to music that invokes a sensual feeling in me, i lit candles and i thought about what i want. it’s usually a man. I don’t believe crushes on men are perchance.. or is it peradventure? it’s not by accident, it’s divine. when a woman loves you genuinely and truly, without controlling you or wanting something from you, it’s God choosing to love you through the body of a woman. He is giving you a battery that recharges your soul and helps you create or build or continue on.
venus in a white cotton wrap dress, as opposed to venus in furs. i don’t want to deal out harsh punishments to a man i love. i find myself in the latter part of the story, at the feet of a cruel man that keeps me in line. many will say this is low self esteem and desperation. but i am warm. the venus who wears furs and whips the man that loves her is cold, she does not heat herself the venus who wears furs is lizardlike, she must sunbathe in the light of an adoring man she does not respect, to prevent herself from shivering. But, i run hot. i run so hot that my skin gets red and flushed around my face and décolletage. i run so hot that you can feel it pouring out of my skin. i generate my own heat from within. I’m happy alone and i wear breathable cotton because i would overheat with pride if i wore anything thicker. my love is from God, my warmth is from God.
I have too much current draw and the battery that is me is overheating inside my body. the energy has no place to go. I am a venusian woman i should not be writing a “Blog.” writing is for the mercurials. But it’s therapeutic for me in my current state as the flow of energy has nowhere else to go. i should be dancing seductively on a table for a man that i respect, a man that absorbs the excess energy i produce. he should be helping to regulate my core body temperature while he writes stories about me and about how my blood somehow, is a conduit for prophecy. I do not sweat properly, i have hypohydrosis. I’m not able to perspire in the majority of my body which means I physically cannot cool myself down on hot days. all my days are hot. i can exist only in white cotton and drench myself with a bottle that sprays a fine water mist over me. Venus in a wet white cotton wrap dress with no man to observe.
venus and saturn work together to create art, you cannot have beauty without pain. you cannot have art without some form of struggle. the struggle is saturnian, the beauty and the art, the energy are all venusian. you cannot be a family man and an artist, not in the traditional sense. to be an artist, a writer, a musician as a man requires you not having a 9-5 job. anything that locks you into a rigid routine is unvenusian and anti-freedom. to create art you must have a muse, a venusian woman that is an untraditional lover, a chaotic woman. not a calculated and careful woman. Feminine sexual energy exists to be harvested the same way fruit exists solely to be eaten from a tree. saturn gives the discipline it takes to master the delicacies of an art while venus keeps him charged and alive.
you have expectations for your life, you expect that you will outdo such and such person, gain reputation, community, stardom accomplish life goal meet milestone prove your highschool loser friends that you really totally could do it guys i swear. compete with your father who you want to kill, to impress your mother who maybe you want to have sex with, just a little bit. but deep down you know that what you really want is to be free.to be alive with the charge of a venusian woman. everyone just wants to be free. everyone just wants the truth of who they are to be seen and to be not judged. everyone wants to feel as free as the gin drunk venus wearing nothing but a white cotton wrap dress. the breathable fabric, unihibited. soft, buttery, flowy. your leg slips out of it while you dance and you don’t even think about it.